What is a pap smear test?
A pap smear test is a procedure done at a clinic to screen for cervical cancer. It tests for the presence of precancerous or cancerous cells on the cervix.
Who needs a pap smear?
My company covers an annual medical checkup for each employee, but the pap smear test is only offered to female employees who are married (the HR keeps track of who's married and who's not), which I think is very third-world.
Unfortunately, this is not an uncommon thing in Malaysia. Based on my own experience, even doctors would ask about my marital status when it came to issues concerning my reproductive system. Seriously, I think these supposedly educated doctors should stop doing that. A patient's marital status is irrelevant. What they should ask instead is whether that person is sexually active. You don't have to be married to have sex and get pregnant.
All sexually active women are at risk of contracting HPV (the sexually-transmitted virus that causes cervical cancer). But not all cancers are caused by viral infections. This means even virgins are not exempt from the risk, which is why every woman should get a pap smear starting at age 21, virgin or not.
Their main concern seems to be that they are scared of losing their hymens. And who can blame them? Asian men, Malay Muslims especially, are very obsessed with hymens. Women with no hymens are not marriage materials. Dying of cancer due to a late diagnosis is a preferable outcome, as long as they can keep their hymens intact.
What was the procedure like?
First, I made an appointment. It is important to do the test on a day that you're not menstruating, because it might alter the results. On the day of the appointment, the nurse at the registration counter asked me if I was married. When I said I wasn't, she asked me if I knew the test involved putting a foreign object into my vagina. Ah, again, the hymen issue.
When everything was clear, I went in to see the doctor. He asked me several times why I wanted to get the test done--was there any cause for concern that I was trying to hide? I convinced him, that no, I was just trying be more responsible in taking care of myself. And it was on my bucket list. Weird reason, I know. I suppose not many women voluntarily go to a clinic to do a pap smear.
I was asked to change into a gown. Because it was my first time, the doctor briefly explained the procedure. Then I lay down on the examination table with my legs spread apart. There were no stirrups to support my legs.
The first part was the manual exam. The doctor put on lubricated gloves and inserted two fingers into the vaginal opening, while his other hand felt my abdomen. The purpose of this exam was to look for any irregularity in the uterus and ovaries.
This was followed by the second part: the pap smear. The doctor inserted a speculum, which is a device used to open the vaginal walls to provide access to the cervix, and using a spatula, he scraped a small sample of cells to be taken to a lab.
Throughout the process, a female nurse was present. I think she was a trainee, because the doctor had to explain everything to her. All she did was watch, nod, and adjust the lights. But her presence made me feel a lot more comfortable.
Was it painful?
I think the part where he inserted his fingers was slightly painful. During the pap smear, I barely felt anything.
Did you get.. you know... aroused?
No.
But I did joke with my friends that if the doctor was hot, it might be a different story.
~ ~ ~
A week later, the results from the lab came back and they called me to pick it up.
It was negative for lesion or malignancy. In other words, I passed! So I guess that means I can carry on living my promiscuous life as a swinger. 😜
