I am reading a book called "What I Know Now" which is a compilation of letters written by successful women to their younger selves. Among the contributors are Maya Angelou, Lee Ann Womack, Rebecca Lobo, Shelley Morrison, Nora Roberts and Queen Noor of Jordan.
It is both humbling and comforting to know that these remarkable women, had at one time, struggled to fit in, or suffered from feelings of insecurity, much like we do, or gotten themselves in situations so hopeless that they would never have believed they would turn out to be who they are now.
In this book, those women wrote letters of sound advice, words of encouragement that they wished they had received all those years ago. It is a great source of motivation and wisdom for anybody who is going through a similar situation. It has also helped some of the writers in coming to terms with the unresolved issues of their pasts.
In the spirit of this book, this is the letter I wrote to my 16-year-old self. Warning: it's long.
~~~
Dear Ummi,
That feeling of emptiness and utter bleakness that you feel? It has a name. It's called depression. Don't beat yourself up trying to find the reason why you're feeling that way. It's not your fault, and there's no point blaming others. Read up on it. Knowing more about your condition will help you tremendously. Talk to someone you can trust, write in your journal, join online support groups, read about other people's experiences; it helps to know that you're not alone. It's going to take you months, and you're going to have a relapse in a few years' time, but you'll get through them both. You are much stronger than you think. Take it a day at a time. If you feel like a particular task is impossible, break it into smaller chunks.
Drink lots of water, eat well, wear bras with strong support, exercise more. Go out there and take up some sports. Learn to swim. Learn to drive. Save more money and start traveling earlier. You may think that shopping is the best thing in the world, but soon enough you'll tire of it. There's a lot more to see and experience out there. And once you've got a taste of it, you won't want to splurge on those white platform shoes. You're only going to wear them once anyway. And don't get me started on those jeans in your closet you still haven't taken out of their original packaging. So, travel. Don't be scared; just because no one in your family had ever done it, it doesn't mean you can't. But don't accept rides from strangers.
When you're 20, you're going to quit uni. Please don't feel inferior about it. It was not an easy decision to make. In fact I'm proud that at your age, you already know what you want to believe in, and you had the guts to stick to it. Not many people have that kind of courage. From young, you have been a very determined and headstrong person, and those qualities will bring out the best and the worst in you. They will take you far in life, but they're not going to earn you many friends. Be humble, control your temper, take time to listen to other people's opinions, and try not to come across as a cocky snob.
When you're 23, you will go through a rough patch that will scar you for life. You will make a grave mistake that will turn many friends into foes. It will be one of the lowest points in your life, and take the longest to recover from. But trust me, no matter how hard it seems, you will turn out all right. Don't be angry at those people who hurt you, because like you, they are only doing what they feel is right. Forgive them, and most importantly, forgive yourself. The sooner you do that, the sooner you will heal.
Spend more time with your mom, even though you two don't get along well all the time. Treasure your true friends; keep old friendships alive. Stay away from negative people--they're blood-sucking parasites. Don't waste your time trying to impress the wrong crowd. Be yourself, and if they don't like you for who you are, then they're not worth the trouble.
Lastly, remember that your life is what you choose to make of it. If there is something that you really want, have faith that you can make it happen; don't let anyone tell you otherwise.
And don't pop those pimples.
With Love,
Yourself in 10 years' time
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| What I Know Now (Spragins, Ellyn) |
It is both humbling and comforting to know that these remarkable women, had at one time, struggled to fit in, or suffered from feelings of insecurity, much like we do, or gotten themselves in situations so hopeless that they would never have believed they would turn out to be who they are now.
In this book, those women wrote letters of sound advice, words of encouragement that they wished they had received all those years ago. It is a great source of motivation and wisdom for anybody who is going through a similar situation. It has also helped some of the writers in coming to terms with the unresolved issues of their pasts.
In the spirit of this book, this is the letter I wrote to my 16-year-old self. Warning: it's long.
~~~
Dear Ummi,
That feeling of emptiness and utter bleakness that you feel? It has a name. It's called depression. Don't beat yourself up trying to find the reason why you're feeling that way. It's not your fault, and there's no point blaming others. Read up on it. Knowing more about your condition will help you tremendously. Talk to someone you can trust, write in your journal, join online support groups, read about other people's experiences; it helps to know that you're not alone. It's going to take you months, and you're going to have a relapse in a few years' time, but you'll get through them both. You are much stronger than you think. Take it a day at a time. If you feel like a particular task is impossible, break it into smaller chunks.
Drink lots of water, eat well, wear bras with strong support, exercise more. Go out there and take up some sports. Learn to swim. Learn to drive. Save more money and start traveling earlier. You may think that shopping is the best thing in the world, but soon enough you'll tire of it. There's a lot more to see and experience out there. And once you've got a taste of it, you won't want to splurge on those white platform shoes. You're only going to wear them once anyway. And don't get me started on those jeans in your closet you still haven't taken out of their original packaging. So, travel. Don't be scared; just because no one in your family had ever done it, it doesn't mean you can't. But don't accept rides from strangers.
When you're 20, you're going to quit uni. Please don't feel inferior about it. It was not an easy decision to make. In fact I'm proud that at your age, you already know what you want to believe in, and you had the guts to stick to it. Not many people have that kind of courage. From young, you have been a very determined and headstrong person, and those qualities will bring out the best and the worst in you. They will take you far in life, but they're not going to earn you many friends. Be humble, control your temper, take time to listen to other people's opinions, and try not to come across as a cocky snob.
When you're 23, you will go through a rough patch that will scar you for life. You will make a grave mistake that will turn many friends into foes. It will be one of the lowest points in your life, and take the longest to recover from. But trust me, no matter how hard it seems, you will turn out all right. Don't be angry at those people who hurt you, because like you, they are only doing what they feel is right. Forgive them, and most importantly, forgive yourself. The sooner you do that, the sooner you will heal.
Spend more time with your mom, even though you two don't get along well all the time. Treasure your true friends; keep old friendships alive. Stay away from negative people--they're blood-sucking parasites. Don't waste your time trying to impress the wrong crowd. Be yourself, and if they don't like you for who you are, then they're not worth the trouble.
Lastly, remember that your life is what you choose to make of it. If there is something that you really want, have faith that you can make it happen; don't let anyone tell you otherwise.
And don't pop those pimples.
With Love,
Yourself in 10 years' time
